As time grew on, I started really feeling like Ricky was going to stake claim on my belly and body for ever and I'd never get to hold my baby and start stage two of his life. I've been mentally prepared to have him since the start of November and time seems to drag on and on with no end in site. There is a huge benefit for Ricky coming later which may have had something to do with him staying in so long, which is Ricardo's mom coming into town for his birth. She got here about a week ago. Since has been here she's been a huge help to me and Ricardo. Knowing that she is going to be here to witness the birth of her first grandson is a wonderful feeling and I'm grateful that he stayed in to allow her that moment.
Last week (38 weeks) my doctor asked me if I wanted to schedule my induction. I happily agreed to schedule it for the 5th, thinking that he couldn't possibly wait that long. If he did, why not just get it over with. Since that appointment, I found myself in desperation to go into labor and see some sign that the end was near. Looking at the calendar, the 5th seemed so long away and despite what advances I felt one day, the next it was like I hadn't made any progress. Any drop he made the day before, he raised up by morning, contractions never seemed to be enough and no mucus plug or discharge to say that the time was near..... I researched online to see natural and non-threatening ways to induce labor, the ones I felt made sense I tried. Pressure points, food, sex, I meditated to try and will him out.... Alas... Contractions came and went.... and nothing! No change to my dilation and no change in his position for long. I had been counting down the days till the 5th knowing that I was scheduled to induce and there was of course the end in site...
Then, I got to the doctors this week, (week 39). They ask me how he's been moving and he's much more still than before, so they monitored his movements for a while. He moved in the beginning and then apparently fell back to sleep because not much movement after that. Which had been different from the other times they monitored his movements. He hated that thing on his womb and would constantly move away from the monitors so I had to keep adjusting the belts to keep his heart beat. This time, despite the lack of drop in movement as compared to before, Dr. said that he had met the movement requirements in that first few minutes so he wasn't worried. Which made me feel much better because after talking with my mom and Ricardo's mom they felt his activity was concerning. So, once we go that out of the way, Dr. asked me how I was feeling. I said, "I'm ready!" not thinking much would come of it. He says, "Would you like to move the induction date up?" ..... Me: "Uh, sure!" Next thing I know I'm scheduled for Wednesday November 30 at 6am to go and get induced and finally have my baby!!!
I have defiantly felt some mixed emotions from family about my decision to be induced three days earlier than my due date and/or not wait for the baby to come on his own. Which defiantly makes me think about my decision and consider if its the "right" thing to do. Besides thinking that they know something I don't know, I cannot think of a reason why this is the "wrong" decision. Besides the religious side of some or naturalist side of me feeling like I'm going against nature and somehow that may not be the absolute best thing. But, for me, I don't feel the pressure as much to keep him in as much as I do to get him out. Also, although I'm not sure she is used to the idea of inducing before the 40 week mark and not pressuring me at all to deliver, Ricardo's mom will be going home soon and I would rather her have more time with the baby before going back to Cali so that has defiantly helped me push to get this started. I know that she would much rather us be closer, just like my family, which makes this time is very precious. Ricardo feels like he's never going to really be ready so he's sort of neutral about pushing it up except for it just being more real faster and him having less time to mentally cope with the changes we're about to experience.
For me, the idea that I can finally hold my baby and knowing that he's gone 39.5 weeks is good for me in his development. He's just growing now and he can do that outside as much as in. So, as far as his health, I'm good with the decision. I did mention my naturalist side where I have some conflict and wonder if I'm messing with the stars or something. But, I don't allow that side of me to control my life or decisions as much as logic and need does. I do have some anxiety of knowing that by this time tomorrow I will have my baby and there will be pain. I know that after his birth at some point I have a chance of regretting my decision to have him now because I'll want to put him back in my tummy and away from the world and all that comes with being in it. I am able to protect him and life is SO much easier with him in than it will be with a new baby and all the responsibility that comes with it. I also feel very confident in my Dr. trusting that he would not have mentioned it if it were a bad thing. He's a wonderful Dr and someone I feel very comfortable with so I feel that he would not lead me astray or offer a bad thing for me or my baby. So, despite some feelings of anxiety, excitement, confusion and sensitivity... I'm having a baby tomorrow!
11-30-11................ Now thats a cool birth date!
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