I smell bull hockey and it stinks!

One of the worst feelings is when you realize that a friend, significant other, or prospective friend or significant other is a liar, con-artist, a cheat, or a thief!

I can say with great pleasure that it doesn't seem to take me very long to sniff out the BS, but, its still a depressing moment when I recognize the deceit. It makes me feel so grateful that I've met so many great people in the world because, the feelings that come over me after figuring out something like that makes me want to distrust people, hide in a hole, and never open up to anyone.

It makes me wonder what they must be going through to choose that path? I cannot imagine going through life keeping up with so many stories and the feeling that being myself is somehow worse than a lie that will inevitably cause me and other people pain and misfortune.

I just don't get it.

I've seen this a number of times through my years of dating. Big huge lies and little insignificant lies, both cause me to loose respect for the person. Most likely they lied to begin with because they thought I would think less of them if they told me the true information, what an insult!!!

I am not the most confident person in the world and there are definitely things that I wish were different in my life. There are a number of things that I may not advertise on my sleeve, but, I would not think bold face lying would be the way of making it go away! That only aggravates the situation.

No one is perfect. Everyone has some issue.... Family problems, financial problems, emotional issues, mommy or daddy issues, addictions, who knows what else!

I suppose I should not take it personally and I'm really working through that feeling as quickly as possible. Its just difficult because I am a caring person and I feel so terrible when I have to distance myself from someone because they could not respect themselves or the people around them. I want to show them that there is a way to live life fighting your demons and the result of the hard work is way more gratifying than the brief satisfaction that you got one over on someone.

I can promise you that it is not a good feeling figuring out inconsistencies and determining that what I was told or made to think, isn't accurate. Especially when it continues to happen!!! I feel like its a curse. I wish sometimes I could be more naive, not for long... But, sometimes.....

I am proud that over all I tend to be an optimist and although it causes me to offer the benefit of the doubt when I shouldn't, it also allows me to continue to trust and look for the good in people. Although truthfully, very few people deserve it and even fewer will keep it, but, inevitably I will continue to offer up my good will.