Pase Picante Sauce, pace

After my relaxing, Catholic Saint San Martin De Porres, candle lit bath. I came to my email to find today's Daily OM, which summed up precisely what I been thinking about just after I had finished meditating... That everyone has their own pace of processing feelings and actions. 

At Your Own Pace
The Tortoise and the Hare

People take life at different speeds and one way is not necessarily superior to another.

The classic tale of the tortoise and the hare reminds us that different people take life at different speeds and that one way is not necessarily superior to another. In fact, in the story it is the slower animal that ends up arriving at the destination first. In the same way, some of us seem to move very quickly through the issues and obstacles we all face in our lives. Others need long periods of time to process their feelings and move into new states of awareness. For those of us who perceive ourselves as moving quickly, it can be painful and exasperating to deal with someone else’s slower pace. Yet, just like the tortoise and the hare, we all arrive at the same destination, together, eventually. 

People who take their time with things are probably in the minority in most of the world today. We live in a time when speed and productivity are valued above almost anything else. Therefore, people who flow at a slower pace are out of sync with the world and are often pestered and prodded to go faster and do more. This can be not only frustrating but also counterproductive because the stress of being pushed to move faster than one is able to move actually slows progress. On the other hand, if a person’s style is honored and supported, they will find their way in their own time and, just like the tortoise, they might just beat the speedier, more easily distracted person to the finish line.

It’s important to remember that we are not actually in a race to get somewhere ahead of someone else, and it is difficult to judge by appearances whether one person has made more progress than another. Whether you count yourself among the fast movers or as one of the slower folks, we can all benefit from respecting the pace that those around us choose for themselves. This way, we can keep our eyes on our own journey, knowing that we will all end up together in the end.
Direct Link, Daily OM

My bath, initially was intended to help me relax and forget my stress and worries for a moment and push my mind to a more forward place, out of the negativity and stress of today. It turned into a purge and cleanse moment instead. Which is probably better right now anyway, I have quite a few things to do before I can move on to a new place mentally. Its always intriguing to me how the relaxed and unfocused mind works to come to these conclusions before the contentious mind of experience and logic can. 


Anyway, I came to the conclusion that I owe someone an apology. I never would have expected it because at the time it felt justified and I believe that if the situation was reversed they would never do it for me. But, in my reality and moral code, I need to apologize. For no other reason than to clear off the negativity and rectify my wrong, regardless of their choices and regardless of how they will receive it. The situation happened mid last week and its taken me till now to realize my next step. It seems like a small task too, saying "I'm sorry". But, its not something I come to very quickly and, in the scheme of things, its not a small task. Apologies are very important when they are genuine and coupled with a statement which you share how you will change that occurrence in the future, all encompassed by never repeating that action again.


The need to make amends wasn't all I'd come to in my Saint Martin illuminated bath. I already knew that I process things in a very personal way and the fact I had not given myself the time to do so lately has been a great issue for me personally. I realized the true repercussion of not taking time for myself which is, I haven't feasibly been able to correctly process much of anything else that was happening in my personal or professional life. Which brought me to the moment when I mis-spoke, now need to apologize, and I'm sure many other decisions that lead me into other negative outcomes which have yet to present themselves. 


I believe that now I am back on track and will rectify the situations as they present themselves . Perhaps there is something to learn from this hiatus, that I can not allow another emotion or moment to get in the way of my self growth. I also need to add finding a balance in my emotional and spiritual upkeep to my processing to-do list. But, until I am able to accomplish both, I need to stick to keeping myself focused on me and keeping myself on the track to a more positive and healthy future.



UPDATE!


So, its a day later and the apology is complete! Although I had planned to talk with this person face to face, I was not able to. They ended up communicating with me over IM and it felt like a good time so, I went ahead and said what I needed to there. I was fearful of how they'd take it, perhaps they'd be defensive or reject my apology. I thought about the chance they'd make fun of me or joke of how I'd come to my conclusion. Perhaps later the politics of my choices would come back to haunt me. But, I did what I felt was right regardless of my fears!


And you know what? Nothing bad happened, in fact they too apologized for their own part of the moment and a weight has been lifted, the air is clear, and I reminded myself how good it feels to do the right thing regardless of how fear makes me feel.