Dog eat Dog= Boooooo!

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about aggressive human interactions and how common it is. In some of my permanent relationships, aggression is part of the communication standard. Job positions require me to be assertive and aggressive at times. Observing strangers and hearing about other people's lives, I hear about consistent drama and down right nasty treatment of peers, friends, lovers, and strangers.

I cannot count how many times I've said... "I'm a hippy, cause I don't get it." or Had my feelings hurt by someone being unnecessarily disrespectful toward me or the moments when I felt like I was in the 'mean girls' movie. I find that aggressive behaviors are way too prevalent and I rarely see people doing kind things for each other without expecting or receiving something in return.

Often times I see people being nasty to each other to gain social or professional footing. I am personally not someone who has the drive to step on someone to get ahead. I learned very young that some people hunt for a target and devour them to in order to move up in a social group or company. Although, am not interested in acting as the attacker, I have many times been the subject or prey and I've gotta tell ya, its an awful experience.

I have also found that people are severely controlled by their insecurities, which at times triggers an aggressive reaction. Any threat of the unknown, misunderstood, or reminders of personal short comings are often times met with swift and direct objection and even hatred. Its a very dramatic experience and something I find absolutely ridiculous. I'm confused why people don't want to understand things different than themselves or grow out of those personal issues that cause such a negative feeling.

I am employed to or expected at times, to be assertive and command myself as an authority in a number of environments in my life today. It may be the single most difficult thing I think I have to do. Because by nature I am a helpful, peaceful, and kind person. I mostly become dominant or protective in situations where I need to protect someone I care about. But, other than that, its been a long difficult road to figuring out when its necessary to be aggressive. The truth is, its never a natural reaction. Its all taught to me by someone or my observations of other people dealing with similar situations, and absorbing how they handle it. But, each new situation causes me a new learning experience because my initial reaction is ultimately the wrong one.... being nice and respectful.

Its so bad today that Customer Service people are even rude. The phrase "customer is always right" flew out the window in the 90's. I'm sure this is a compilation of many things, but, two things come to my mind as possible explanations... Muli-millionaire companies bullying out the mom and pop companies, which believed in that slogan, and the common mistreatment of each other making people short tempered coupled with cut-throat work environments where people are given raises and promotions after using "weaker" people's heads as a step ladder, may explain some of it.

I am no where near a perfect person and there have been many experiences where a reputation of being a bitch or controlling came to light. I am frustrated by the labels and wish greatly that I could be my natural self. I too have become hard in many ways and its no mystery as to why.... In many of my family, romantic, business, and friendship relationships people treat each other poorly and very rarely do I have genuine and selflessly kind and thoughtful experiences with people. Though... there are a few and those seldom yet special moments I hold dear to my heart because they are hard to come by.

There was a time a few years ago when I found myself being a despicable person. I was so miserable with myself that I treated many people poorly. I especially focused on those people who also acted a fool but, I leaned that feeding the problem only helped grow the issue. I started working on finding out why I was so unhappy and why I was not being myself. Its a big debate in my head as where I lost myself to begin with. But, all I know for sure is that now I'm at a more familiar place in my head which includes more peaceful relations.... or the desire for them at least.

I have worked very hard to treat people the way I want to be treated, communicate to people the best I can and to be myself. Whatever happens with people is what happens... There's not much more to it than that. Live and let live is a good example of where I stand. But, I have to be honest... Its draining having people coming at you and continually having to process the moment because I don't want to feed the issue, makes me not want to deal with people anymore. I really just want people to respect each other and be kind. But, along with many other things I think are good ideas, it seems to be an unrealistic hope.

For as long as I can remember I've lived in a dog eat dog world and for as long as I remember I've felt like a cat cunning my way through the dog house trying to not get attacked. Its not the best way to live, but, its better than being discussed with myself for selling out and giving in to the belief that its okay to treat others poorly. Its a daily struggle and I'm not always successful. But, I have to give myself credit for trying and hold on to hope that more people will get on the "mean people suck" band wagon.