At peace and loving it.

Yesterday I had a bit of a melt down. I'm lucky to have friends who were there for me and willing to listen to my ranting. I tend to get worked up when I really feel passionate about something thats not going the way I want and its difficult to be objective at times when your in that state of mind.

Today I feel at peace with myself, my life, and all the things I felt frustrated, sad, and scared about yesterday. I can honestly say I have almost no clue why I feel so different one day to the next. I imagine that the majority of my comfort now has come from the support and honest advice of my friends. There is just something so empowering about having someone you respect tell you your okay and doing something right. I guess I need some reassurance every now and again.

Its almost impossible for me to think about all the different things that were plaguing me yesterday. I suppose the majority was wanting to help people who don't want help, the fear of loosing people, and coping with the fact that things are going to change and I have no control of it.

Slowly but surely I'm finding that the better I feel inside the better my life becomes on the outside. The best part for me is the ability to be outspoken about my changes and how they've helped me. The opportunity for me to help someone else looking for a similar result, stimulating the growth in someone else is such a bonus!!! But, the part that is so hard for me is when the people I care so much about don't want or aren't ready to listen to what I've been doing. It makes me sad because I've been working so hard and I'm proud of myself. I have come so far and I feel so much better. I don't want to brag I want to help stimulate changes that people say they want. Quick fixes don't exist, they only end up making things worse. So, hard work is the only thing that pays off.

I have come to accept that I get to teach by living and when people want my info they know where to go to get it. I am happy with that.

I've also learned that some people will not accept my changes and all I can do is leave the door open in the hopes that when they're ready, they'll come back.

I get to acknowledge the people who are walking this road with me and appreciate their impute and support. Knowing that I can help them is super neat.

I look forward the newcomers who will come into my life and expand my horizons... One door closes, another one opens. I think is how that saying goes.

I am allowed to be proud of myself and enjoy being happy. It hasn't always been this way and this didn't happen by accident.


I have the ability to be anything I want and what I want is to be happy. I want to give my son the best chance at a healthy and balanced life. I want to be a healthy and honest friend someone who will give you the answers you need not the ones you want. Last, I want to be a beautiful person who inspires other people to be the same.