I love the idea and took it a step further with a bit more thought and organization. I made four lists; The Rules, This is how we love, This is how we live, and This is how we parent. I kept it a bit artistic and used fonts I thought suited the topic of the lists but used the same font throughout the entire list to make them more legible.
I've read five parenting books in the last six months and although I learned a lot I also found it difficult to change because I'd forget and there were so many suggestions I found it difficult to know what to do when. I made lists that I told myself I would read them in situations I needed reminders with. But, I never used them. They were wordy and long, I also found it difficult to stop and go read a sign in the mist of a situation. So, they were ineffective. Recently I was given a packet that outlined exactly what I needed to do for my children as a parent. It was a compilation of things from all of the books I read which has been enormously helpful understanding what they need from me as a parent. As simple as the rules are, I still felt I needed reminders with some of it. So, I made this parenting list, its short and to the point!
Understanding how difficult it is for me to change even when it was something I wanted to change I realized that we need a Rules list that specifically outlines things we're struggling with. Just a simple guideline to help remember what is expected. I felt it was important to separate things like "Show respect" and only list a few things so its easier to remember them. I felt that showing respect, among other things often put on rule lists isn't a "rule" is a social expectation and something to live by. So, I felt it was better to put that on a separate list.
I felt that keeping the rules short was better and less overwhelming. But, there are other lessons in life that I felt were very important to learn. To me these are things that should stay with us far beyond childhood and basic tools on how to have a balanced and happy life.
The last list could be seen as the most important. Call them morals, social expectations, or values... To me they're just important! I titled this list Love because I felt that regardless of who you are interacting with you should show them love on some level. Also, it helps define what "Love" is. For me, love was not easy to understand and just because you say the words "I love you" doesn't mean that we really understand what that means. I think its also helpful to remember how we should treat the people we say "I love you" to.
Repetition is one of the most effective ways to memorize and remember something. It takes quite a long time to form a habit of something says Psych Central.com, from 21, up to 66, days to be exact. We decided that because making lists has proved to be a very good way for us to learn things and remember all of the expectations, it doesn't really work unless you read them. So every day we as a family recite The rules and at least one of the Live or Love lists. Ricardo and I read the parenting list to ourselves. So far it has been a very good addition to our household and verbal reminders for the children and adults have been effective in change behavior without punishments or repercussions needed.
I will be framing these and hanging them on the wall where everyone can read them easily. I have an idea that this will become a staple in our household and the "Rules" list will evolve with the children as they get older to keep the expectations clear and communication open. Everyone can easily see what is needed from everyone, without confusion.
We are not perfect people but, we will never stop striving to be healthy and well balanced. Mistakes happen, make them worth it!!
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